A Bridge & a Love Story (the family version)

I really enjoyed spending time with my mother-in-law, Patricia (Pat). She was incredibly sweet and a wonderful mother and grandmother. We shared both laughs and quiet conversations during their summer visits from Florida, and we particularly liked to go to the movies.

I remember one in particular. The Bridges of Madison County starring Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood. You may remember that the plot revolved around Eastwood photographing the Bridges in Madison County when he runs into Streep. Although she is married, they begin a 4-day love affair while her family is out-of-town. Apparently, they really were two soul mates who missed their chance of living a beautiful life together.

Yes, it was romantic, but it felt off to me; very make-believe. How do you know you are soul mates without actually living the “real stuff” together?

As my mind was working through that, we had taken a walk on a new “temporary” bridge in our own town as the county was building a new one. While still on the bridge, I stopped to take a photo of Pat with my father-in-law, Dick. The camera clicked, and so did everything else.

I hurried home and started writing. I wasn’t even sure why as this was long before blogs even existed (!) or even before my free-lance reporting days. But it had to come out. I liked it, but what could I do with it?

I decided to send it to our local newspaper, The Winnetka Talk, as a Letter to the Editor. There was a lot of buzz about the movie, and Pat and Dick had once lived in the area, so maybe there would be interest.

There was. Soon after, Pioneer Press, the umbrella company to maybe 50 other “local editions” ran it as a guest essay in our paper, as well as a few of their other editions in the greater Chicagoland area.

Here’s the piece:

“It was not a covered bridge. It was not a pretty bridge either. But the bridge that spanned the small creek in Northfield closed last week and was demolished.

A foot bridge was built a few yards south of the construction for the residents, and this one is pretty. Made entirely of wood, it arches gracefully around the creek. I photographed my visiting in-laws just last week on that bridge, and I was transformed. Oh my God, I thought. Here I am looking through a camera lens at a couple standing on a bridge. An old-fashioned type of bridge. A story came to me, but it did not include Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. No movie stars here.

No, I began to think about the 55-year marriage of the couple facing me. It was tough. Soon after they married, he was called into the service and left for three years.

She stayed, with a son, and lived with her parents. When he came home, he built them a home in Northfield himself, and worked in a lumber yard. They had another son, and then a daughter, and then another daughter. He built a larger home to support the family. Both parents ran a convenience store that failed when the new supermarket opened across the street.

Her mother died. His mother died. They worked hard to survive and put their sons through college. All four of the children gave them wonderful grandchildren.This is the kind of life the fictional Francesca (Streep) may have shared with her husband, but we don’t know that because that wasn’t “the story.” But I think that was the story. Not the bridge, or the four days of passion, or even the heart-wrenching decision to stay or go.

Francesca and her husband survived infidelity (he never knew, but she did) raised two children, ran a farm and were part of their community. That took strength and love and responsibility. It is a story of survival with bruises and scars and triumphs of living a life together. That is a (way more) interesting story.

I got the pictures developed and maybe Robert Kincaid (Eastwood) would be proud. The bridge is attractive, but 55 years of love and compromise make the better picture, and I don’t care what bridge you are shooting – even if it is in Madison County.”

In that strange moment of confluence, with a movie, bridge construction and my kind mother-in-law visiting, I found the story and unwittingly found a job. Not long after that, Pioneer Press hired me to cover stories on a part-time basis for them. Isn’t that crazy? Then again, maybe not. Maybe it’s just life, and how it works. But I am grateful for Pat for inspiring me to write the story, and open a new life path for me.

And that is only part of our story…

I couldn’t find the bridge photo, but here they are around the same time in the 1990s.

21 responses to “A Bridge & a Love Story (the family version)”

  1. The “real stuff” doesn’t sell when it comes to movies. I have similar feelings to the ones you shared when I look at someone’s Facebook posts or take an occasional glance at Instagram. They are often snapshots that do not accurately represent real life. Can you imagine? Here’s the fight my spouse and I had over something stupid. Here’s me looking frustrated after realizing we barely have enough money to pay the mortgage. Here we are feeling tired and stressed after working a long day and realizing we have to do it all over again tomorrow. Marriage is not only about riding the waves when everything is going great, but also dealing with lots of real, unglamorous things.

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    1. You make a great point, Pete! No one wants to watch that, although I suppose if it’s presented with humor like Roseanne or Married with Children, there is a place for laughing at the “everyday.” Over the lifetime of a marriage, you have to take the whole package, and its sum is pretty remarkable.

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  2. So beautiful…thank you, Melanie. For sharing your guest essay and your philosophy about what matters most. Longterm devotion, riding those waves in life…families…relationships. I think the good folks at Pioneer Press were wise to snap you up. You have a knack for recognizing gateway opportunities, following your heart. This is just another fabulous example.
    (And side note – we have a beautiful old, covered bridge near us and I keep thinking I should write about it…and now you’ve given me a goose.)
    Hugs and love! 💝😉💝

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    1. Oooooo, please write about the bridge, Vicki! Especially since you already are interested in it. I love that. And thanks for your gracious words about what I feel, and what I follow. I am always drawn to the real thing (which would make me a lousy fiction writer, haha!). I am grateful for your constant support. Hugs and love! 🥰💕

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      1. Thank you for always bringing inspiration. Love and hugs — always!!! 🥰❤️🥰

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      2. You’re the best!! 🥰❤️🥰

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      3. LOL…no…you are! 🥰💕🥰

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  3. this is beautiful and puts things into a very real perspective

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    1. Thank you, Beth. 💕 Having to put in effort (into anything) over many years and succeeding is definitely a beautiful story; especially when it involves two people! That is so interesting to me – the “realness.”

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  4. It’s wonderful for you to share your guest essay, Melanie! The story in a movie is just a tipbit of real life. The realness is colorful, from the brightest to the darkest. 😍

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    1. So true!! The movie stuff does make you feel good (or sometimes sad), but it is always missing something. I like your “realness is colorful from the brightness to the darkest.” THAT’s life. Thank you, Miriam. 😍

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  5. You’re welcome, Melanie. ☺️ Movies are like fictional novels, a fantasy that gives us a temporary escape from reality.

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    1. And that’s a great point, Miriam. It is healthy to escape from reality once in a while. Absolutely. I guess I tend to lean into “big picture” thoughts. 😊

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  6. I’m not a movie watcher, though, Melanie. My escape is listening to music or watching concert videos.

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    1. Excellent choices, Miriam! Thanks so much for our conversation. 😊

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      1. You’re welcome, Melanie. 😊

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  7. Oh, this is so beautiful, Melanie! I love how your inspiration to write it carried you to a job on the other side. So incredibly impressive the way you step up when you feel the call. Amazing and inspiring! <3 <3 <3

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    1. What a kind comment to share, Wynne! I really appreciate it. When you say it like that, it is interesting how it played out, like it was meant to be. There’s no question that when inspiration hits – it hits full on. 😊 Thanks so much. Have an awesome hoilday weekend!

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      1. It hits full on — that’s so good, Melanie! Hope you have an awesome holiday weekend as well, my friend! XOXO!

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  8. Your MIL sounds lovely and the movie sounds very interesting. Getting to know someone personally really tells you so much more about them then you could imagine. Humans are so resilient we sometimes forget how much they go through in their life.

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  9. Yes, we developed a close relationship; especially after my son was born, Pooja. I was lucky to have her. And spouses, partners and family all have to support each other to get through the tough stuff! Thanks so much, Pooja.

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