There’s just something about this photo.
Ever since I found it in my mother’s vast collection two plus years ago, I have propped it up against a vase on my desk. I like looking at it. I like trying to figure it out.
The moment was captured in April, 1966. That’s me, and I was five-years-old.
I remember the general circumstances behind it. My family (except my dad) was visiting my retired grandfather out in Tucson, Arizona. His 4th wife is standing on the right. Her name was Edwina.
I think dad did not go with us because he and his father didn’t talk.
Vandy (my grandfather’s nickname) had been grooming my dad to take over the business he founded and dad wanted nothing to do with it. Vandy had been an overbearing father with his three sons; the oldest actually left Cleveland, and we never heard from him again. Honestly? I overheard my mother once say, “Vandy is just a mean SOB.”
Dad bowed to the pressure for a short time, joining the company as a salesman, but then he quit.
Maybe because Vandy was furious with dad, he had sold the company, divorced my grandmother and went on a marrying spree. He eventually moved to Tucson. Clearly, there was bad blood. However, Vandy wanted to see his grandchildren. I suspect he paid our way.
So, they had taken us to Old Tucson as a treat, also known as Tucson Studios, for the day.
Built in 1939, this was an actual movie studio and theme park. Gunfight at the OK Corral, Rio Bravo and Tombstone are only a few of the movies filmed there. The Little House on the Prairie and Kung Fu television series also came to life in this location.
It opened to the public in 1960 as a theme park with historical tours offered about the movies filmed there, along with live cast entertainment featuring stunt shows and staged shoot-outs, etc.
What is it about this photo, nearly 60 years later, that still grabs me?
Clearly, the man is an employee; it looks like he’s the sheriff of this fictional town. But it’s pretty clear he is engaged with me.
Am I asking a question? Maybe. Have I already asked too many questions? Maybe. With his furrowed brow and serious expression, he looks a little non-plussed and I look a little defensive with my arms down and my hands clasped together. But I am holding his gaze. He has my attention, and that keeps me looking up. Way up. I love the height difference in that gaze. What is he thinking?
It’s true that I was a bit of a tomboy back then. In just a couple of years, I would be climbing trees and catching bees and feeding spiders on our front porch. So, maybe I was in awe of him, boldly moving through life with a swagger and a sheriff’s star.
Or maybe I just missed my dad, and this guy looked like he could protect me. It’s possible I like the photo because it is a springboard for so many ideas which might explain it.
No one is posed, looking at the camera. It’s a genuine moment. The synergy still comes off that old Kodak film decades later. It could have only been a split second stare, but the photographer caught it.
Why does this image still grab me? I think it’s because I truly, truly want the answer behind this moment, but also understand that I will never get it. Memory work and imaginative storylines take shape instead, which has been enriching to think about.
Many of you reading this still have certain photos from your early years; most likely decades old, which might really tell a story. The next time you are digging through loose photo bins or albums, keep that idea close. Maybe you will come across an interesting photo in which you don’t remember the details behind it. It needs an air of forgotten mystery. Place it where you will run into it, even occasionally. Try to imagine what could have happened that day; or in that moment.
What stories will you find?
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