It will be two years this Sunday, September 8^th, since Queen Elizabeth II died at the extraordinary age of 96. My own mother, Gretchen, had passed in late July that same year, just missing her 92^nd birthday. They died exactly six weeks apart. They were laid to rest a week apart.

As with many families, we needed to take time to complete a memorial plan and allow enough space on the calendar for family and friends to make arrangements to be with us. They actually arrived one day after the Queen passed. On the day she left her Scottish estate, Balmoral, for the last time, mom was in a car being driven to Miami. Our plan was to scatter her ashes in the Atlantic Ocean at the Neptune Memorial Reef. For more on the reef and her service, click HERE.

 While the Queen lay in state, we drove home from Miami, still feeling the rhythm of the waves and the rocking motion of our loss. That night we had a thunderstorm and a double rainbow appeared about 7:00 p.m. On the night before the Queen’s burial, a rainbow appeared over Buckingham Palace at 5:51 p.m.

When the Queen’s service began on September 19th, it was like I was watching a split screen. There was the Queen’s casket with the Royal Standard flag draped over it, but in my mind’s eye, I saw mom in her urn sitting at the end of the boat, surrounded in flowers. Each participant on the boat took a flower and threw them, one-by-one, into the water, saying “Goodbye Gretchen…Gram…mom.”

As congregants sang hymns, we had our own pomp and circumstance moments playing Dixieland jazz on the boat, mom’s favorite. As the royal family members said their goodbyes, I saw my sister and I stepping to the end of the boat, carrying our mother, and releasing her into her final resting place. This was her request. Large, pink Moon jellyfish rose from the depths and floated there to take her.

My mother always admired Queen Elizabeth II for her stoicism, eloquence and sophistication. The royal aura fascinated her. Of course, millions admired her too, but maybe my mother felt like she was more of a peer to the Queen. She could “relate” to her as they both moved through life and wars and family tumult. During the 1950’s, mom was a regular in the society section of our local newspaper. She even loved dogs! Of course, comparisons end there as Queen Elizabeth II met world leaders and had the finest historic jewelry collection in all the land.

I think deep down, mom wouldn’t have minded being crowned “Queen for a Day” or being treated “like a queen” if she could. I remember more than one birthday card I gave her which referenced being a queen. The inside of one card referenced something like “the queen entirely dismisses your opinion on this matter.” It was a joke naturally, and yet…it felt right.

The fact is that Gretchen exuded her own royal aura in life.

I’ve previously talked about her childhood; raised by two working artists. They had some amazing life experiences. One story is how they spent nine summers at the famous Greenbrier Resort in the 1930s as her parents founded and administered an artists-in-residence program, which brought guests of the Greenbrier together with visiting artists. They also created the Old White Art Gallery inside the hotel.

Mom spent her days being photographed in sunflower gardens and watching the horses in polo games and attending costume balls with the other children of the Greenbrier guests. She particularly liked “Sunny” Crawford, who would later become the heiress and socialite who married Claus Von Bulow.

It would be a reasonable assumption that these experiences would make her feel like a real-life princess. I get it. Anyone who lived mom’s childhood is going to view life differently. In addition, she attended an all-girls’ preparatory day school, and eventually received a degree from Case Western Reserve University where her parents taught art. Armed with that education and a deep cultural knowledge and the Greenbrier’s social influence, I suppose she saw herself as a true bon vivant; with a modern twist.

I remember when she and Dad were going out to a party, or maybe it was a gallery exhibit. I was six or seven, and she was standing at the top of the stairs. We watched her walk down in a floor-length modern red caftan, with her blond hair brushed back in a current 60s’ style. All she was missing were gloves and a cigarette holder. She could have been on the cover of Vogue.

“Well, what do you think?” she asked.

“Gretch, you look like a million bucks,” Dad replied.  

There were certain times when she believed she had a million bucks.

And hey, both Gretchen and the Queen had more than one portrait painted of them.

Above Left: The small print at the bottom of the photo reads: “Recognize me? Gretchen Grauer asks with a smile as she poses next to a portrait of her painted by Bernice Horton, a student at “Grassmere.” (which was her parents summer home and studio.)

Below: Natalie Eynon Grauer, my grandmother, is working on her daughter’s portrait which eventually hung in our living room for many years.

So, yes, I couldn’t believe that my mother and the Queen had passed so close to each other and shared similar moments; particularly in the end. It is just so mom. I promise you; Gretchen would have gotten a kick out of this last association with Queen Elizabeth II. She always laughed at my “queen” cards. She knew how she presented herself to the world. She was all that. That’s just how it was.

I mentioned the theme of this post to my husband, Dennis, a few nights ago.

He responded with “Gretchen is probably hanging out with the Queen right now!”

I laughed out loud. Yep, he knew her.

My mother was one-of-a-kind. Or in her mind, maybe two.